The Most Dangerous Game...

Some of you will recognize the title of the short story...but considering what the focus of this post is going to be, it seemed appropriate. Once again, as I was browsing news stories (I don't get the newspaper...there's so much less waste when I find my news online), I found a story that just made me go, "What the hell?"

We've all heard, by now, the story about the Vice President shooting one of his fellow hunting party members by accident. Well, the plot thickens a bit--

This is the official version, in a nutshell--

Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong, a witness, told The Associated Press the accident occurred when Cheney's 78-year-old companion came up behind him "and didn't signal or indicate ... or announce himself. ... The vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

The gun fired a spray of small lead pellets that struck Whittington in the face and neck. He was said to be in "very stable" condition after the incident, looking like he had chicken pox.

Then, just minutes ago, THIS was released on the web--

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had a "minor heart attack," a hospital official said Tuesday. Peter Banko, the hospital administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial, said Harry Whittington had the heart attack early Tuesday while being evaluated.

HOW do you go from being 'peppered pretty good' to having birdshot LODGED IN YOUR HEART? That sounds a whole lot more grievous than looking like the chicken pox!!!

I know hunters. I know accidents happen. I can accept that. But it's looking like my government is lying to me YET AGAIN. If he nearly killed the guy, then SAY SO...we're adults, we can handle it.

The 'serious press' aren't the only ones working this, though...I got this from a friend--

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS

· "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."

· "But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

· "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

· "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC

· "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."

· "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

· "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "

· "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central

· The show's segment titles included "Cheney's Got a Gun," "No. 2 With a Bullet" and "Dead-Eye Dick."

· "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

· "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."

"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS

· "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."

· "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "

· "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

· "Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

Normally, I kind of resent late-night hosts who ride people about dumb mistakes. In this case, I'm MORE than willing to make an exception.

And, while I'm writing (and to put a brighter spin on my day before I go to work), a little housecleaning of sorts--

Kevin--Yep, it's the Egyptian...I agree, while they use professional actors, I would qualify them as a semi-professional theater, as a whole (and I think everyone that's worked with them on the tech side of things would agree...they have a very proficient tech crew in spite of the way they treat them...things just haven't been the same up there since Ray Carlson died.)

And my post about policing the world...well, yeah, y'know, I do agree with you. Darfur is where we should be, if anywhere in the world. I just get sick of being vilified one moment, and the next moment having the world expecting us to bail them out. Bad as this may sound, you can't train an animal to behave a certain way if you aren't consistent in reinforcing the behavior...punish it for being good, or reward it for being bad, and you just have to start the whole process over again. People aren't much different, even on a national scale (perhaps, even, ESPECIALLY on a national scale).

And, finally, since I'm going on and on and on...Annette's questionnaire--

What is your favourite word: Tenacious

What is your least favourite word: bigot

What turns you on: Oh, that could be several posts, all by itself...ummmmm...intelligent interaction.

What turns you off: Blind anger

What sound do you love: The nicker of my horse, the murmur of a mountain stream, the whisper of a gentle breeze through trees...I don't have time to type out the full list (I don't have time to compile the full list in my head, even...)

What sound do you hate: angry arguments, traffic jams, that CLICK followed by dead silence when my battery cable has vibrated loose again on my car so it won't start...

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt: Writing, or being a DJ. I would have loved to have been a rock-singer...but I can barely sing as it is.

What profession would you not like to participate in: Tobacco, politics, drug dealer, or the porn industry

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates:
"So, you finally DID make it...we were starting to have our doubts..."

Peace, all. I'm off to work.